One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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