Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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