big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
