just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
