Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
