You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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