Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
