My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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