The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
