Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize