thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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