The maid of honor just puked.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
