maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
