dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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