What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
