I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize