There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
