there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
