We're like a lot better than the average bears
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
my poor anus
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize