Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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