the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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