Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
