There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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