U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
