You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
