Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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