Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
