do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
