wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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