I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We need to get me chipped asap
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
