After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm bleeding and have questions
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
