I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
