You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
do herpes really smell.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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