it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
