white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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