is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Pants are for mortals
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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