my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize