Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
