we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize