:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
