I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
