Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Randomize
