i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
