Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
