this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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