'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
