There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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