so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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