Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
