We're facebook friends in real life
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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