There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
