THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
