You can't special order awesome
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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