You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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