his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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