My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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