It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
