actually, I'm a sock model
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
