my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
