just tell him i said nine months
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
