I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize