Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
