my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
