You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
