Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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