Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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