i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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