there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
