I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
