ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he fucked my hip out of place.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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