Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
